Anecdotes

Life After Crazy VII. – It Changes You

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It’s been just over a week since I came home from the ER, loaded with pills and therapists’ cards. One thing I’ve learned in the course of all these hospitalizations and doctors visits is that the best thing I can do is be calm, open, and straightforward with people. Last year, I went totally bonkers. If you follow my blog, you know about that. Last week, it happened again, but slightly less… vehemently. The gist of it is this: My brain is weird and no one knows why. (You may have noticed.) See, I’ve had this other entity with me more »

Anecdotes

Life After Crazy VI. – What’s It Like? Part II

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Post originally started in January: It’s been almost a year since I went mad. Life seems ordinary enough just now, but I find myself with a creeping sense of unease. Just after Christmas, I spent a couple weeks in the mire of depression, but it has faded into an achingly dull apathy. They say “that which does not kill you makes you stronger,” and while I do believe I am a stronger person than I was this time last year, I also think I am stranger and harder to relate to. I feel distinctly weird around other people. I’m acutely more »

Anecdotes

Life After Crazy V. – What’s It Like?

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Disclaimer: I spend a lot of time on the internet. I’ve gotten old enough now I was around for the dawn of some now-vintage memes. If I ever quote you, thinking I’m referencing popular culture, and you feel like I have plagiarized you, please let me know. I always try to give credit where credit is due, but the meme net is wide, and the internet is bad at citing sources. Another disclaimer: a couple days after writing this I was in the ER because I hadn’t slept in four days and was pushing another round of psychosis from sheer anxiety. more »

Anecdotes

Life After Crazy IV – Invisible Friends

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Losing one’s mind compromises any sense of privacy. While I was nuts, I had no control over what I said, or what I told whom. Consequently, I have no more secrets to keep from the people who were with me on Crazy Night. It’s been an enormous weight off my shoulders, and since then, I mostly haven’t cared who knows what about me. Once you’ve spent a night chained to a hospital bed, yelling at anyone and everyone who sees you, you stop giving a shit about a lot of things. One of those things I’ve stopped caring about is more »

Anecdotes

Life After Crazy – III. Captivity

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The implications of going crazy are terrifying, but probably not for the reasons one might think. The thing I find more disturbing than anything– worse than the madness itself, worse than the stay in the hospital– is the sudden and thorough loss of freedom. It had never hit me how fragile an idea freedom is. In the course of a day, people came into my home, put me in handcuffs, and walked me barefoot into the rain, over the pavement of my street, put me in a police car, and I stopped having choices about my life. For the next more »