Anecdotes LIX. To Walk Two Worlds

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My world changed the night I lost my mind. What had once been tucked out of sight and held in silence came roaring onto center stage. I was no longer able to hide the fact I live my life connected to a world most people don’t see. Part of me doesn’t care– I am what I am, weirdness and all– but another part does, because no matter how much I commit to being shamelessly myself, the world can encroach on me. I’ve seen it is possible to lose my freedom, to be made unsafe, to be questioned on things I more »

Anecdote LVIII. Into the Fire

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January 27th, 2016 The sounds of cannon fire and shouting rang across the river as the sun was rising. Moloch’s army had arrived in the night as the Train passed, and had begun their assault on Corerrofin hours before sunup. Lask had left Stefin to oversee the battlefield, and returned to Avigdell. Falient had prepared his ship, and was ready to leave, but Lask needed to wait until sunrise for the final piece of magic. He stood with Barrett on the balcony as the sun appeared in the east, the two facing the light appearing over the falls. Barrett knelt more »

Anecdote LV. The Devil You Know

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On July 23rd, I found myself staring at an Emergency Room ceiling. It was my third visit of the year. Fortunately 2 out of 3 times this year have not been for my mind. The latest two were thanks to diverticulitis– so unexpected at my age, the doctors “didn’t think to look for it” for two weeks, and kept sending me home with “meh, viral infection.” While I’ve mostly recovered, lying in an ER room for hours with nothing to do but wait for test results tends to make the mind wander. Emergency Rooms are not happy places for me– more »

Anecdote LI. The Things That Were Lost

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July 21st, 2015 • Avigdell Lask’s wings waited in the healing solution. It had taken weeks for them to regenerate in the sarcophagus Garth had constructed, but now they were full and vibrant, floating in the glowing water in the corner of the infirmary.  In the center of the room was a table, where preparations were happening. Lask lay on the table, and Falient was trying to make him as comfortable as possible. Elanor had taken the day off work and laid down in the dark at home, so as to clearly project herself to perch on a stool by more »

Anecdote XXXVI. A Flash of Red (or a Glimpse Among Sparks)

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Scarlet eyes. That’s the first thing that struck me about Lask. It’s the first thing most people notice. They’re hard to miss; striking, piercing, simultaneously warm and deadly. Over the years, I haven’t been the only one who has seen them. Sometimes, it’s the eyes themselves. Other times, people register him as a flash of red on the edges of their vision. When I was 12, I wanted to be baptized. As was customary, the preacher came to our house and talked to me about it. Asked me all kinds of questions– had I really thought about this? Am I more »

Anecdote XXXIV. Just a Dream

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August 1st, 2016  It was dark as an inkwell when I woke to the sound of labored breathing. Something struggled nearby, shaking my bed. As I came to, I realized it was Lask beside me. He was asleep on his side with his bare back to me, twitching and tensing in his sleep. A low, plaintive sound escaped him as he curled himself, hauling on the covers. I turned to face him, realizing he was in the grip of a nightmare, and reached out to touch him. I had only brushed my fingers along his shoulder blade when he cried more »

Anecdote XXXIII. I Am a Rock… I Am an Island.

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I was 14 going on 15 when October came. October is always a magical time of year, when all the world turns to blazing red and gold, as if the Lion of Winter roars in the distance, and all the trees suit up to meet him. In the Fall of 2004, I asked Lask an important question: “If your job is looking after me, where do you go when you’re not with me?” For years he had been teaching me to ask questions. It was like some sort of sacred meditation, or mind tai chi that he loved. I always more »