Anecdotes

I’m a writer. I write things. Duh. That’s probably why you’re here. When I was younger, I had time to write a lot, and write things cohesively into linear manuscripts, be diligent about editing– all that exuberant young writer jazz.

Here’s the thing: ain’t nobody got time for that right now. But that doesn’t stop me from writing. Wanna know something else? I’ve finally embraced that tired catechism of: “write what you know.” Here’s the catch: what I know may or may not be real.

I have mental health issues. Nobody’s sure what they are, but here are the facts so far:

• I have anxiety
• I have depression
• I have been in the Emergency Room twice for losing my mind
• Lask is a real presence in my head, or maybe an outside spiritual entity; there is some evidence for both scenarios
• It’s an adventure, and kinda fun sometimes
• I’m learning, growing, and becoming stronger for it

I believe talking about our experiences is key, so I’ve compiled a series of posts about my experience with my own brain, and my red-eyed companion who may or may not be a product of my own mind.

Additionally, I’m compiling all the odds and ends I’ve written in the past few years. These are stories about spirits Lask knows. Lask and I are connected, and I can’t escape the effects of our bond. These other assholes spirits are off in their own plane of existence, fortunately for me, although some do stop by to see me and chat sometimes. I’ve wanted to write about these spirits (these people) and their lives for a long time. I’ve started various book drafts, and trashed them. I thought I was going to write some grand saga about good and evil, an insightful commentary on the nature of God and Man and what lies between, all under the guise of a fantasy story, but then I realized that was horseshit. The handful of people who read the first drafts tried with varying degrees of tact and subtlety to alert me to the stench of my preachy prose, but it didn’t sink in until three cops dragged me out of my house.

I shouldn’t have been surprised. It seems like all writers “go mad” at some point or another. How else would we be able to bridge the gap between mundane life and the vast expanse of the artful imagination? You can’t be normal and make up things for a living, let’s be real. I’ve known for a long time I wasn’t normal, and my experience of reality was very different from most people’s. In point of fact, the books I originally wrote for these stories were not fiction (for me), but trying to masquerade as fantasy anyway, and I think perhaps that’s what drove me crazy in the end. It takes an awful lot of energy to pretend you’re something other than what you are, and the longer you wear that mask on your face, the heavier your head becomes. My mask became so heavy that one day it broke me, but like ripping off a bandaid in a moment of stark agony, my breaking came with a certain sense of liberation, and I realized something:

I no longer give a shit. I am who I am. Maybe I’m mentally ill. Maybe I’m gifted. Maybe I’m delusional. Maybe I’m a vessel for things beyond the world of human perception. None of these things are mutually exclusive. After all, many an oracle was considered a madwoman. So instead of preaching to you about the cosmic war of Light and Dark, I’m just going to tell you about my life, and the spirits I know. There’s meaning in it, to be sure, and perhaps commentary on a larger design, but I’m only human, and all we humans have are our stories. These are mine. Make of them what you will.

The point of these is that most can be read individually, or as separate story/character arcs, but if you’re inclined to read them in order for the “big picture,” you can find the wall of them here:

All Anecdotes
I. Glinda the Good Witch • II. The Scarlet-Eyed Stranger • III. The Storm at Sea (or, Seasickness) • IV. Why Math Stinks • V. The Boys with a Deathwish• VI. The Lies We Tell • VII. The Prologue of Falling • VIII. The Thing in the Woods • IX. There But By the Grace of God Go We • X. The White One • XI. Holy (Rocky) Ground • XII. Giemm Gets a Real Job • XIII. To Trust a Dark One • XIV. Keeper of the Keys • XV. An Audience with the Emperor • XVI. Falient the Upstart • XVII. The Corruption of Tiermond • XVIII. Tiermond’s Shot Heard ‘Round the World • IXX. Belara Remembers Tiermond • XX. A Childhood Dismembered • XXI. No Love for the Dark • XXII. Falient Leaves Alone • XXIII. Kotora Eler Grymor • XXIV. Falient’s World Changes • XXV. Falient Captured • XXVI. Falient Gets a Bath • XXVII. For Want of Saber • XXVIII. Deals with Demons • XXIX. Kotelgrym Falls (Again) • XXX. The Fallen Emperor Flees • XXXI. A Demon Comes Home • XXXII. They Followed Me Home • XXXIII. I Am a Rock… I Am an Island • XXXIV. Just a Dream • XXXV. A Hall of Mirrors • XXXVI. A Flash of Red (or a Glimpse Among Sparks) • XXXVII. Humanity is Contagious

Duality – The Life of Lask and Elanor
I. Glinda the Good Witch
II. The Scarlet-Eyed Stranger
III. The Storm at Sea (or, Seasickness)
IV. Why Math Stinks
V. The Boys with a Deathwish
VI. The Lies We Tell
VII. The Prologue of Falling
VIII. The Thing in the Woods
IX. There But By the Grace of God Go We
X. The White One
XI. Holy (Rocky) Ground
XXXIII. I Am a Rock… I Am an Island
XXXIV. Just a Dream
XXXV. A Hall of Mirrors
XXXVI. A Flash of Red (or a Glimpse Among Sparks)
XXXVII. Humanity is Contagious

Life After Crazy
The original “anecdotes” about my experiences with mental health.
I. Emergency
II. The Nonsensical Ravings of a Lunatic Mind
III. Captivity
IV. Invisible Friends
V. What’s It Like?
VI. What’s It Like? Part II
VII. It Changes You

 

Stefin’s Rise and Fall (and Repeat)
& Giemm’s Under-story

XII. Giemm Gets a Real Job
XIII. To Trust a Dark One
XIV. Keeper of the Keys
XV. An Audience with the Emperor
XVI. Falient the Upstart
XXIII. Kotora Eler Grymor
XXVIII. Deals with Demons
XXIX. Kotelgrym Falls (Again)
XXX. The Fallen Emperor Flees
XXXI. A Demon Comes Home
XXXII. They Followed Me Home

 

Falient’s Journey
XVI. Falient the Upstart
IXX. Belara Remembers Tiermond
XX. A Childhood Dismembered
XXI. No Love for the Dark
XXII. Falient Leaves Alone
XXIV. Falient’s World Changes
XXV. Falient Captured
XXVI. Falient Gets a Bath
XXVII. For Want of Saber
XXVIII. Deals with Demons

 

Dark History
XV. An Audience with the Emperor
XVII. The Corruption of Tiermond
XVIII. Tiermond’s Shot Heard ‘Round the World
IXX. Belara Remembers Tiermond

 

Or, read by character:
LaskElanorStefinGiemmFalientBelaraTiermondVelserka

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